OH
THAT
DIANA DAVIS
THE WRITER ONE
This is my ruminating face. Sometimes confused with my bitch face. But to be honest, I’m probably ruminating
about what a bitch I'm being.
BUT WHICH WRITER-ONE
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
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NEED MORE INFO TO DECIDE? FAIR ENOUGH. HERE'S MY. . .
CRINGY THIRD-PERSON BIO
Diana Davis is an award-winning storyteller and nationally recognized copywriter whose sharp, comedic voice has powered campaigns for major brands, celebrity talent, and leading entertainment platforms. Her work has earned Clio, ADDY, GEMA, and Shorty Awards, and her screenwriting has placed in top international competitions.
Her debut middle grade novel, Liv Forever: Never Say Zombie, has received international recognition and five-star reviews. Her essays have appeared on prominent humor and lifestyle platforms.
She lives in Montclair, New Jersey, with her husband, her daughters, and a dog whose nipples she once mistook for ticks.
MOST RECENT SELF-IMPORTANT AWARD LIST
RESUME. (THE ONE THAT MATTERS.)
All of the ’80s – Child Slave
All of Central Jersey
Got robbed when I agreed to vacuum the whole house for 25 cents. Vowed to make a better life for myself.
Sometime in the Mid-’90s – Confections by Jon, Cashier
Middlesex, NJ
Ate a whole cake in under five minutes. Got fired.
A Few Months Later – Herman’s Sporting Goods, Cashier and Shoe Saleswoman
Green Brook, NJ
Quickly learned that a jockstrap and a chinstrap are two very different things. Very different.
The Mid to Late ’90s – Wannabe Freelance Writer
Middlesex, NJ
Wrote and sold my very first story to Seventeen magazine called The Maxi Pad Dilemma. (And yes, there is a dilemma.)
Late ‘90s – Dr. Neil Perkins Dentistry, Assistant to the Dental Assistant’s Assistant
Bound Brook, NJ
Witnessed a root canal. Crossed “Dentist” off my list of potential careers. (And places to visit).
Even Later, Late ‘90s – FAO Schwarz, Catalog Intern
New York, NY
Wrote my first official printed piece of copy: Available in more colors.
Getting Close to 2000– Sleazy Restaurant I Can’t Recall, Cocktail Waitress
Wilkes-Barre, PA
Learned how to say, “Take your hand off my ass,” in Spanish.
Definitely 2000s (I think) – Grey Advertising, Copywriter
New York, NY
Wrote the best lipstick shade name of all time for a kids’ line of lip gloss: Fe-Fi-Fo-Plum.
Mid-2000s – MTV Networks, Copywriter
New York, NY
Got contact high from Snoop Dogg in the elevator.
Around 2010ish– SYFY/NBCUniversal, Copywriter
Wrote the best tagline of my career for a paranormal investigation show starring William Shatner. Ready? Wait for it…
“The paranormal investigation show that is completely full of Shat.”
The 2020s - Homicidal Octopus, Killer Ideas With Lots of Legs - Freelance Writer (A Real One)
Montclair, NJ
Someone dared me to name my LLC Homicidal Octopus, so I did. Because I’m a risk-taker. Now I’m hired by companies all over the country to make cool shit.
2024 (or 5) - The Jersey Shore, Executive of Dysfunction
Found my lost wallet in the Cheeze-It box. Officially diagnosed with ADHD. Added "Executive Dysfunction" to my resume.
Awards
In fourth grade, I won second place in a Dental Association contest for my tagline: “Brush and Floss, Show Plaque Who’s Boss.” All other awards pale in comparison.
HEY.